May 11, 2015 - What to share about? Oh yeah the place I live.

So, I'm trying really hard to be a better blogger, it's exhausting though as I am always typing out this and or that and then deciding it is just too personal to share.

I mean I would love to share about my love life, but it isn't fair to the man in my life or to the previous few before him, they all would worry about what I would share. 

I want to share about my grandfather and great-aunt, but I know for sure my great-aunt would have an apocalyptic fit for me doing that, people in their 90s are grumpy a lot.

My parents I think it would be a quick and stern request for me to remove that post immediately.

My sibling and my honorary sibling, I don't think they would want me blogging about them either as well they have to deal with enough crap without my snarky commentary on it all as well. (Although maybe someday soon I will go ahead and do that on some of it. Mwahahahahaha!)

My children, I don't think they would care, but even though they are mostly adults now, I care.  Their lives don't need to be exposed anymore than what I have already done to them (naked baby pictures anyone?).

Hmmmm, I could type about my pets.  They don't mind.  I don't know about that though, they are pretty obnoxious at times and although they have pampered lives, I don't feel that they are the thing to go on about they are my dogs and cats and I love them but no one wants to read about how roly-poly they are as the get to sleep for at least 4 to 5 hours at a time because everyone works in the house and we are all tired when we come home so walks for the dogs are far and few between.

I already did a post on how I strongly dislike my house, maybe a post about my yard?  That is a living nightmare as well right now, we didn't mow the back yard before this long period of rain has happened and now some of the grass is up to my knees and will need to be baled instead of just mowed and it's rained so much that the front yard needs mowing again as well.

Even though I have managed to get most of my flower beds to be flowers that are ground cover, I still have to weed? Why, I hate weeding, those evil little grasses and seedling trees are the bane of my existence in my flower beds, some times I think weed-eating the whole garden to one level would be easier than trying to get the roots of every single piece of grass in the flower beds.

I want to tear down the deck this year, yep this year we are going to do it and I need a dumpster to get rid of all the stupid stuff piled behind the garage and in the dead end.  I'm worried though if I get rid of the deck, my privacy fence will no longer stand on its own and I will need to replace all of the posts, another project.  I just want a decent vegetable garden this year, honest that's really the only goal I have for the yard, I'm not even trying to get rid of the crab grass anymore, it won as far as I am concerned. 

The garage still needs to be squared up and repaired and reroofed as well as new windows, they popped out years ago when the garage became racked.

I think the electrician I had come over and do an estimate on my house doesn't want to do it.  I know it's an old house and it does need some serious work done on it but not every room needs to be completely rewired and if it does, I can seriously see how they don't want to do it unless I get rid of all of the walls first so they aren't wanting to kill me at the end of every work day fishing electrical wire through walls.  I really would just like some simple things done if they don't want to get the house up to code for me though, a new amp/fuse box, a plug on the outside of the house in the front, my garage electrical to work again, and the fan in my furnace hooked up to the thermostat so I can run it without the furnace going as well.  I really don't think those are too much to ask, but maybe for that guy it is.  :(

FYI, home ownership is not a joy like they sell to you in the commercials, it really isn't.

I have dreams of the perfect house and they are not the house I have now.  I want a single story, probably a ranch house with a long covered front porch.  I want a three season room off of the back of the house.  I want a garage that isn't leaking.  First floor laundry, cement walk-in basement, two maybe three bedrooms, NO CARPETS!!!  I don't think that I am asking for a mansion, just enough room to not want to hurt my neighbor for deciding 8 am is the best time to mow his lawn. 

I can dream big right?  :)

I Relapsed Again...

I have been doing so good for so long and then poof, five days out of work laying in bed or on the couch willing myself not to have to move so I didn't cough.  That doesn't really work by the way, in fact it is impossible, but I tried anyway.

I know part of this is my fault, I know it is, my lung doctor never called me back and I knew he didn't, but that didn't make me want to call and make the appointment either, I don't like him.  I learn more about what he is thinking about my health problem from when he talks to a stupid digital recorder so he doesn't have to type his medical file notes.  (Lazy...)

I tried to renew my inhalers, but they won't let you refill scripts that are over a year old, even if it is one day past that date, the pharmacy people will not do it.  I find that extremely annoying when I still had four refills left on one of my inhalers alone, the waste they force me to feel! Ugh!

So I finally gave in and went back to Urgent Care, I know it isn't my regular doctor but I think I have explained that I hate my regular doctor's receptionist and I can never get in an appointment with him with any promptness.Its not like I can plan my sicknesses and schedule an appointment say three weeks in advance to see him about it.  I have never been that way about sickness, deciding I will get sick at a certain time.  In fact I don't know too many people that can do that at all, if you know of any, let me know I want to know how they do it.

Any way back to Urgent Care, I have gone to them repeatedly for almost 3 years about this lung crap now and then never look back in their records.  I am a brand new patient every time, even though I have seen all four doctors that run the office.  Now sometimes this is helpful I get the antibiotics and stuff I need without any fuss, but other times it is extremely annoying when I can't get them to remember two weeks ago when I came and was wheezing all over their office.  I just want some continuity and someone to have enough interest to want to figure out if it is my animals or house that is trying to kill me.

If it is my animals, well then I will probably die first.  I cannot give up my pets, cats or dogs alike, I just can't do it.  I am an animal advocate and they are my children.  They rely on me to feed them, water them, clean them, (Yes I know the dogs are dirty right now, they love the sand and it is pointless to bath them when they roll in the sand.) house them, etc..  I cannot give up on that responsibility to them when I have failed so many other responsibilities in my life.  One day my dream is to retire from my current job and open a no-kill animal rescue.  Someday it will happen.

If it is my house, well I will probably die from that as well.  I will not sell this monstrosity of a house in the market right now and unless the housing market all of a sudden does a huge jump, there is no way I can get out from under this mortgage and find a smaller newer house.  So at this time we slowly find money (and I mean SLOWLY) and fix one part or another of the house to see if it helps me stay healthy.

Personally my bet is on the crawl space is filled with black mold and bacteria and all sorts of horrible things that are trying to kill me microscopically as I simply refuse to look in there or have anything to do with anything that has to do with the crawl space.  It has cooties and I am not going to participate, not one bit.  If anyone thinks otherwise you are welcome to come over to my house and look in the crawl space but you won't change my mind, it has cooties and it is trying to kill me.

Well so far the antibiotics have helped me, they didn't clear the cough completely but I can move now without an asthma attack or a coughing fit, if I don't move too fast.  What saddens me about all of this is the fact that since the weather outside is so nice, I still try and do everything I want, like gardening and little outdoor projects.  I end up extremely lame after them, limping for days and wondering why I can't sit without pain anymore, I am only 36 and some days after doing what I want, I feel 80 because I can't do the things I want without some kind of consequence.

It sucks.

I didn't remember the brie. (Dammit!)

Peace.