Friday, May 15, 2015

May 15, 2015 - Rain, rain GO AWAY!!!

It is raining, it has been on and off for over a week now. 

I know I should be grateful, the lawn can always use the rain and the water table always needs it, but,
I want to go for a ride with my man on the motorcycle!!!


Wooo saaah!

Monday, May 11, 2015

May 11, 2015 - What to share about? Oh yeah the place I live.

So, I'm trying really hard to be a better blogger, it's exhausting though as I am always typing out this and or that and then deciding it is just too personal to share.

I mean I would love to share about my love life, but it isn't fair to the man in my life or to the previous few before him, they all would worry about what I would share. 

I want to share about my grandfather and great-aunt, but I know for sure my great-aunt would have an apocalyptic fit for me doing that, people in their 90s are grumpy a lot.

My parents I think it would be a quick and stern request for me to remove that post immediately.

My sibling and my honorary sibling, I don't think they would want me blogging about them either as well they have to deal with enough crap without my snarky commentary on it all as well. (Although maybe someday soon I will go ahead and do that on some of it. Mwahahahahaha!)

My children, I don't think they would care, but even though they are mostly adults now, I care.  Their lives don't need to be exposed anymore than what I have already done to them (naked baby pictures anyone?).

Hmmmm, I could type about my pets.  They don't mind.  I don't know about that though, they are pretty obnoxious at times and although they have pampered lives, I don't feel that they are the thing to go on about they are my dogs and cats and I love them but no one wants to read about how roly-poly they are as the get to sleep for at least 4 to 5 hours at a time because everyone works in the house and we are all tired when we come home so walks for the dogs are far and few between.

I already did a post on how I strongly dislike my house, maybe a post about my yard?  That is a living nightmare as well right now, we didn't mow the back yard before this long period of rain has happened and now some of the grass is up to my knees and will need to be baled instead of just mowed and it's rained so much that the front yard needs mowing again as well.

Even though I have managed to get most of my flower beds to be flowers that are ground cover, I still have to weed? Why, I hate weeding, those evil little grasses and seedling trees are the bane of my existence in my flower beds, some times I think weed-eating the whole garden to one level would be easier than trying to get the roots of every single piece of grass in the flower beds.

I want to tear down the deck this year, yep this year we are going to do it and I need a dumpster to get rid of all the stupid stuff piled behind the garage and in the dead end.  I'm worried though if I get rid of the deck, my privacy fence will no longer stand on its own and I will need to replace all of the posts, another project.  I just want a decent vegetable garden this year, honest that's really the only goal I have for the yard, I'm not even trying to get rid of the crab grass anymore, it won as far as I am concerned. 

The garage still needs to be squared up and repaired and reroofed as well as new windows, they popped out years ago when the garage became racked.

I think the electrician I had come over and do an estimate on my house doesn't want to do it.  I know it's an old house and it does need some serious work done on it but not every room needs to be completely rewired and if it does, I can seriously see how they don't want to do it unless I get rid of all of the walls first so they aren't wanting to kill me at the end of every work day fishing electrical wire through walls.  I really would just like some simple things done if they don't want to get the house up to code for me though, a new amp/fuse box, a plug on the outside of the house in the front, my garage electrical to work again, and the fan in my furnace hooked up to the thermostat so I can run it without the furnace going as well.  I really don't think those are too much to ask, but maybe for that guy it is.  :(

FYI, home ownership is not a joy like they sell to you in the commercials, it really isn't.

I have dreams of the perfect house and they are not the house I have now.  I want a single story, probably a ranch house with a long covered front porch.  I want a three season room off of the back of the house.  I want a garage that isn't leaking.  First floor laundry, cement walk-in basement, two maybe three bedrooms, NO CARPETS!!!  I don't think that I am asking for a mansion, just enough room to not want to hurt my neighbor for deciding 8 am is the best time to mow his lawn. 

I can dream big right?  :)

Monday, May 4, 2015

May 4, 2015 - 2014 in some review

May the Force be with You! (Happy Star Wars Day!!)

Hello world, I failed miserably for blogging in 2014 and maybe since some of it is over I can finally blog about some of it.

Last year was turbulent, with awesome parents as always and amazing kids as well.  Poor little green car that I must keep running for a few more months at the very least. (Please, please higher power!)

Huge, pain in the ass, ancient house that doesn't love me nor I it anymore.  The garage and yard, too.  It's a lot for one person to try and keep liveable when you have three dogs and three cats.  (This reminds me of that meme where it says trying to clean your house with pets is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos, it ain't happening.) Out of date electrical and icky carpet and just too much stuff that I want to get a dumpster and tip the house into it at times. There are a few things I have learned since being a home owner for ten years now and I think I'll share a few of them with you.  Now I realize that some of these will probably be, "Damn Deana that was so obvious" but, hey we all learn in our own ways.  (My learning method it seems to be repeatedly beating my head on a hard surface.)
  1. Single story homes from now on, maybe not even a basement, stairs are a nightmare and dangerous.
  2. Buy a newer home, unless you like working on something that is falling apart around you.
  3. Never buy the cheap carpet or linoleum, they will disappoint you far too quickly.
  4. Only take down the paneling and the drop ceiling if you are willing to face the horror behind it and fix it immediately.
  5. Never ever let friends do you a favor and come to fix a part of your house, even if it is their profession, friend work isn't not always the best.  Three sets of basement stairs can attest to that. (I still hate the basement stairs to this day and refer back to #1.)
  6. Electrical and furnace work should be done by a professional that isn't related to you, ever.  Those are things you want working right without worrying if the family member fixing them was too busy yapping with your then-spouse instead of paying attention to what they were doing. (I know a lot like #5 but this is about family.)
  7. Make sure the garage isn't an ancient rickety thing that is going to fall over on you or your car, while mine has not done this yet, I am waiting on the day a truly strong wind comes along, I am hoping this year is the year. (Crossing my fingers that astronomically priced house insurance will replace it, right?)
  8. Don't get a house for the yard, I didn't, but I do wish that I had let the yard be more of a consideration, trying to fill in that fricking pool hole for ten years has been a challenge that still hasn't been completely accomplished.  (I can't get a vehicle in my back yard to have soil dumped so it has been a labor of hate to wheelbarrow loads of dirt and wood chips from the driveway to the hole every year after the last year's load has settled during the winter.)
  9. Never ever let little saplings and grapevine grow naturally in your ward. The nightmare of work to stop it from destroying your fence and or cleaning up after the trees every year is something you never want to experience.  
  10. The previous point leads into this: never have two fences two feet apart that a mower can't get through.
  11. Never get a solid colored couch that has loose cushions, especially if you are like me and like clean lines.  The cushions will become your mortal enemies, the couch only looks good for about 5 seconds, before someone or the dogs get on it.  When my eldest moves, she is taking that red sectional nightmare with her. 
  12. Counter space is very important, you may dream of remodeling it, but the fact is this, you won't get to it fast enough and if you ever do get to it, the time it takes for the remodel will drive you insane.  I suggest not living in the house at all when you have work done on it, for the bathroom, electrical, drywall, kitchen, ok pretty much anything, you will be much happier just visiting to see how the work is progressing instead of living there through the hell of the construction mess.
I think my rant on what I have learned the hard way is done for now, at least on the subject of home ownership.  (Woo Saahs do not work for this.)

Now onto an update on my life of sorts, because you all SO want to know, I know it. (Sarcasm)

I am divorced, again, it sucked and yet the break had to happen.  Looking back, it is amazing how two people can view 12 years so differently. Don't misunderstand me, we both did things wrong, and we both did somethings right, unfortunately they just didn't balance out for both of us.  I still see the girls, they will always be my girls too, but I cannot speak to him right now, it is just too near the surface for me.

Typing about the girls, well the eldest is living with me again, it's amazing how much more we get along now that there isn't any interference in how we do our relationship.  The youngest girl still lives with her mom, but I like to think our relationship has improved as well, looking back she says she understands why I would go a little crazy about somethings (like bathing) and she knows it was because I do love her that I would freak out as I did.

My boy, well my boy is my rock, through all of my lowest lows he still loves his momma and I feel blessed for it everyday as I don't always feel like I deserve it.  He's in tenth grade now and I feel the years have just gone way to fast.

I do have to say with changes although sometimes painful good things happen from them, really good things.

We'll talk about that another time, meanwhile, since it has been so long since I have posted here, try not to go into shock. ;)

Monday, December 2, 2013

December is WAY too Busy

I have been busy, watching parts of my life implode, it is all unpleasant so I'll skip it here but I will share more mundane 'other' things.

My office moved in October just one floor up and one wing over, but my plants hate me as I am now on the north windows and they have been sitting on the south east windows for over ten years.

I think I may loose my 8-foot corn plant, it hasn't stopped losing leaves since we moved here.  I feel bad for it as I know it should go in another window but I am in the north east corner and have no access to direct sunlight for it.  Poor baby I am not even sure how I would get it home in this season or in my vehicle, its over 8-foot tall and I have a small four door sedan, not a suburban or a Yukon...

I may have to sneak it over to a window that I will have to visit.

People are stingy with their window space now though... so not fun for my plants, my overly large plants that are used to real sunlight and not stupid florescent lights.  They used to be so green and beautiful... now I am losing leaves all the time...

Sigh (BIG Sigh) ... and a yawn.  I'm tired, four days off from work and then to get up at 6:30 a.m. again sucks.

Oh well I have to make the money, the mortgage and other things must be paid.

I haven't even started to shop for the 25th... UGH!  I haven't even thought too much about decorations either.

Ah it is all coming up WAY to fast for me! I wonder if I can just go and hide under the covers until it is all over?  How many people who are used to getting awesome presents from me would forgive me?  I think I am going to go hide and wait for 2014, I swear it will have to be a better year than 2013 has been.

Positive thoughts Deana, positive thoughts, you can do this! I know you can Deanaland has existed for 37 years now, you can make it!

Big changes are coming for 2014 I will try my best to blog on a regular basis again, but as I have said many times before "Do not hold your breath!" I will try but I make no promises!


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

I Relapsed Again...

I have been doing so good for so long and then poof, five days out of work laying in bed or on the couch willing myself not to have to move so I didn't cough.  That doesn't really work by the way, in fact it is impossible, but I tried anyway.

I know part of this is my fault, I know it is, my lung doctor never called me back and I knew he didn't, but that didn't make me want to call and make the appointment either, I don't like him.  I learn more about what he is thinking about my health problem from when he talks to a stupid digital recorder so he doesn't have to type his medical file notes.  (Lazy...)

I tried to renew my inhalers, but they won't let you refill scripts that are over a year old, even if it is one day past that date, the pharmacy people will not do it.  I find that extremely annoying when I still had four refills left on one of my inhalers alone, the waste they force me to feel! Ugh!

So I finally gave in and went back to Urgent Care, I know it isn't my regular doctor but I think I have explained that I hate my regular doctor's receptionist and I can never get in an appointment with him with any promptness.Its not like I can plan my sicknesses and schedule an appointment say three weeks in advance to see him about it.  I have never been that way about sickness, deciding I will get sick at a certain time.  In fact I don't know too many people that can do that at all, if you know of any, let me know I want to know how they do it.

Any way back to Urgent Care, I have gone to them repeatedly for almost 3 years about this lung crap now and then never look back in their records.  I am a brand new patient every time, even though I have seen all four doctors that run the office.  Now sometimes this is helpful I get the antibiotics and stuff I need without any fuss, but other times it is extremely annoying when I can't get them to remember two weeks ago when I came and was wheezing all over their office.  I just want some continuity and someone to have enough interest to want to figure out if it is my animals or house that is trying to kill me.

If it is my animals, well then I will probably die first.  I cannot give up my pets, cats or dogs alike, I just can't do it.  I am an animal advocate and they are my children.  They rely on me to feed them, water them, clean them, (Yes I know the dogs are dirty right now, they love the sand and it is pointless to bath them when they roll in the sand.) house them, etc..  I cannot give up on that responsibility to them when I have failed so many other responsibilities in my life.  One day my dream is to retire from my current job and open a no-kill animal rescue.  Someday it will happen.

If it is my house, well I will probably die from that as well.  I will not sell this monstrosity of a house in the market right now and unless the housing market all of a sudden does a huge jump, there is no way I can get out from under this mortgage and find a smaller newer house.  So at this time we slowly find money (and I mean SLOWLY) and fix one part or another of the house to see if it helps me stay healthy.

Personally my bet is on the crawl space is filled with black mold and bacteria and all sorts of horrible things that are trying to kill me microscopically as I simply refuse to look in there or have anything to do with anything that has to do with the crawl space.  It has cooties and I am not going to participate, not one bit.  If anyone thinks otherwise you are welcome to come over to my house and look in the crawl space but you won't change my mind, it has cooties and it is trying to kill me.

Well so far the antibiotics have helped me, they didn't clear the cough completely but I can move now without an asthma attack or a coughing fit, if I don't move too fast.  What saddens me about all of this is the fact that since the weather outside is so nice, I still try and do everything I want, like gardening and little outdoor projects.  I end up extremely lame after them, limping for days and wondering why I can't sit without pain anymore, I am only 36 and some days after doing what I want, I feel 80 because I can't do the things I want without some kind of consequence.

It sucks.

I didn't remember the brie. (Dammit!)


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Evidently I will NEVER be FULLY in the Clear Again

Yes, it is true, I will never be fully in the clear again, I have already been out sick from work quite a bit this fall , but hopefully with the 28 days of antibiotics, I won't have a complete relapse into breathing hell.  Hopefully.

Weather changes now suck in more than just allergy problems, my lungs along side my sinuses cannot take the temperature changes.  My throat closes up and my lungs start to wheeze, if I lay down I begin to choke on the vile deeply chest racking coughs that must come forth.  Did I say it wasn't any fun?  Because if I didn't let me just say it clearly and maybe I won't have to repeat myself again.


OK enough of my rant and whine, no one ever brings the cheese for my whine anyway.  I guess I will have to remember that myself for next time, a nice brie should do it for me. :)

Enough, I am done and I will be sticking a fork into it right now.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Released from the Prison a.k.a. the Hopsital!!

Yes, its true, I am free. 

They, the doctors, released me today from the boredom and captivity of the one room with a too of small bed. 

I did not have pneumonia like they thought, but a very nasty chest infection that they now think they have on the run.

Granted I wasn't in the hospital for long, but I am truly hopeful now that this crud that has been torturing me since November has been attacked to the point of it never returning.

Yes, I know you probably think, two days isn't that long to be acting the way you are!  Well let me tell you the fight beforehand that did start in November is what makes this seem so wonderful to me to be free. 

I may have many weeks and months of medication to take, I may even have to keep taking medications for the rest of my life to make the crud stay gone, but even that will have been worth it, so long as it never comes back.

It stopped so many things in my life that I hope to soon be returning to, karate, walking up stairs without problems, lawn work. You know, the little things that make you happy. 

Now, I am sure some of are now thinking, "How is lawn work something that you want to return to, hell, how is it anything you like doing?" 

Well that has to do with my outlook, let us cover this briefly in a short possibly repetitive list:
1. It is great exercise, slowly toning the flab that I have;
2. I always see a result from doing lawn work, so that great accomplishment feeling;
3. It helps me get some sun on my seriously pale ass;
4. I get to dream of what it will look like finished someday; and
5. I know that I am one more step closer to the yard of my dreams, so I can start all over again.

Simple, and something that I haven't really gotten to miss, except for the snow shoveling.  At times I was actually scared to go outside with the temperature change from the inside to outside.  Yes, I know this winter was mild, but the temperature change was too great for me to handle with how my breathing was going. Most likely the milder weather was something that was exasperating my whole health issue.  

It sucks to be scared to go outside.  It puts so many things in your life on hold.  I at times even felt like I was  prisoner in my own home.  The temperature difference would even make me scared of going to work, leaving for lunch for a breathing treatment at home, the drive home, or even a run to the store.

This winter was rough for me to say the least not just physically but mentally, I know to some it sounds wimpy, but this is my blog and it does have the title of "Schayde's Rants and Rambles," so this blog will be about what I please.

Now, after the last two days of extreme boredom a ton of medications and a promise of staying quiet at home for the next ten days to those doctors, I have hope and am just happy to see that light at the end of the tunnel and I know that I will finally reach it.

Maybe a little less sane than I was before, or maybe not, after all I haven't ever thought I was too sane, otherwise I wouldn't be who I am.