Monday, May 4, 2015

May 4, 2015 - 2014 in some review

May the Force be with You! (Happy Star Wars Day!!)

Hello world, I failed miserably for blogging in 2014 and maybe since some of it is over I can finally blog about some of it.

Last year was turbulent, with awesome parents as always and amazing kids as well.  Poor little green car that I must keep running for a few more months at the very least. (Please, please higher power!)

Huge, pain in the ass, ancient house that doesn't love me nor I it anymore.  The garage and yard, too.  It's a lot for one person to try and keep liveable when you have three dogs and three cats.  (This reminds me of that meme where it says trying to clean your house with pets is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos, it ain't happening.) Out of date electrical and icky carpet and just too much stuff that I want to get a dumpster and tip the house into it at times. There are a few things I have learned since being a home owner for ten years now and I think I'll share a few of them with you.  Now I realize that some of these will probably be, "Damn Deana that was so obvious" but, hey we all learn in our own ways.  (My learning method it seems to be repeatedly beating my head on a hard surface.)
  1. Single story homes from now on, maybe not even a basement, stairs are a nightmare and dangerous.
  2. Buy a newer home, unless you like working on something that is falling apart around you.
  3. Never buy the cheap carpet or linoleum, they will disappoint you far too quickly.
  4. Only take down the paneling and the drop ceiling if you are willing to face the horror behind it and fix it immediately.
  5. Never ever let friends do you a favor and come to fix a part of your house, even if it is their profession, friend work isn't not always the best.  Three sets of basement stairs can attest to that. (I still hate the basement stairs to this day and refer back to #1.)
  6. Electrical and furnace work should be done by a professional that isn't related to you, ever.  Those are things you want working right without worrying if the family member fixing them was too busy yapping with your then-spouse instead of paying attention to what they were doing. (I know a lot like #5 but this is about family.)
  7. Make sure the garage isn't an ancient rickety thing that is going to fall over on you or your car, while mine has not done this yet, I am waiting on the day a truly strong wind comes along, I am hoping this year is the year. (Crossing my fingers that astronomically priced house insurance will replace it, right?)
  8. Don't get a house for the yard, I didn't, but I do wish that I had let the yard be more of a consideration, trying to fill in that fricking pool hole for ten years has been a challenge that still hasn't been completely accomplished.  (I can't get a vehicle in my back yard to have soil dumped so it has been a labor of hate to wheelbarrow loads of dirt and wood chips from the driveway to the hole every year after the last year's load has settled during the winter.)
  9. Never ever let little saplings and grapevine grow naturally in your ward. The nightmare of work to stop it from destroying your fence and or cleaning up after the trees every year is something you never want to experience.  
  10. The previous point leads into this: never have two fences two feet apart that a mower can't get through.
  11. Never get a solid colored couch that has loose cushions, especially if you are like me and like clean lines.  The cushions will become your mortal enemies, the couch only looks good for about 5 seconds, before someone or the dogs get on it.  When my eldest moves, she is taking that red sectional nightmare with her. 
  12. Counter space is very important, you may dream of remodeling it, but the fact is this, you won't get to it fast enough and if you ever do get to it, the time it takes for the remodel will drive you insane.  I suggest not living in the house at all when you have work done on it, for the bathroom, electrical, drywall, kitchen, ok pretty much anything, you will be much happier just visiting to see how the work is progressing instead of living there through the hell of the construction mess.
I think my rant on what I have learned the hard way is done for now, at least on the subject of home ownership.  (Woo Saahs do not work for this.)

Now onto an update on my life of sorts, because you all SO want to know, I know it. (Sarcasm)

I am divorced, again, it sucked and yet the break had to happen.  Looking back, it is amazing how two people can view 12 years so differently. Don't misunderstand me, we both did things wrong, and we both did somethings right, unfortunately they just didn't balance out for both of us.  I still see the girls, they will always be my girls too, but I cannot speak to him right now, it is just too near the surface for me.

Typing about the girls, well the eldest is living with me again, it's amazing how much more we get along now that there isn't any interference in how we do our relationship.  The youngest girl still lives with her mom, but I like to think our relationship has improved as well, looking back she says she understands why I would go a little crazy about somethings (like bathing) and she knows it was because I do love her that I would freak out as I did.

My boy, well my boy is my rock, through all of my lowest lows he still loves his momma and I feel blessed for it everyday as I don't always feel like I deserve it.  He's in tenth grade now and I feel the years have just gone way to fast.

I do have to say with changes although sometimes painful good things happen from them, really good things.

We'll talk about that another time, meanwhile, since it has been so long since I have posted here, try not to go into shock. ;)

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